


Running Wild

by IsaacTheGreat69



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, anxiety attack, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 20:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15893109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsaacTheGreat69/pseuds/IsaacTheGreat69
Summary: Base on this post: https://dr-gloom.tumblr.com/post/177677920564/a-lot-of-times-learning-to-deal-with-your-anxiety





	Running Wild

Thomas was feeling especially anxious today, and Virgil was feeling the brunt of it. He’d been a shaky, nervous mess since he woke up this morning, and any time he opened his mouth to speak his voice was distorted. That didn’t help anything, since he knew that voice freaked out the other sides (and admittedly himself), so it just made his own anxiety spike. He didn’t want to worry the others or make them scared, so he’d been trying to stay in his room all day. Eventually though, his anxieties won out and forced him out of his room. It was a twisted, hateful sense of irony; being anxious made him want to stay holed up in his room, but his anxiety demanded he be productive, check on the others, keep the mind palace in order and on and on and on. 

He made his way into the commons, his trembling hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. He’d drawn the hood up around his face and he was hunched in on himself - a subconscious desire to remain unseen - as he silently made his way to the kitchen past Roman and Patton, who were watching Sleeping Beauty on the couch. He enters the kitchen, his original plan to just make something to eat and abscond back to his room, but when his eyes land on the growing pile of dishes (which had been sitting there for days now - Patton loved cooking, but he hated chores) his fingers itch with the need to clean. He turns away from the mess, the knowledge of it enough to make his anxiety worsen  _ ~~because dirty dishes lead to bugs and a smelly house and what if he comes in here and the pile is so big it collapses on him-~~_  and tries to make his sandwich. His legs are shaking and his breathing sounds a little funny, but he needs to do this. Thomas’ own anxiety is filtering through him, and normally he’d be internalizing it so his host could function but just being exposed to it is making him so much worse and  _oh my god I’m just making a bigger mess I can’t do this_. “Hey kiddo, you okay?” Virgil jumps at the voice and turns to see Patton and nods silently. “ **Y-yeah.** ” He clamps a hand over his mouth when his voice comes out heavily distorted, making Patton’s frown deepen.  _Shit_. “Hey, it’s okay. I know Thomas is having a bad day. Do you wanna talk about it?” 

Virgil wants anything  _but_ to talk about it. No offense to Patton, of course. He doesn’t want to unload all of his shit on the father figure.  _And what if he just laughs at you? Or calls you ridiculous? Logan would; your anxiety is completely illogical there’s no reason to be acting like this_ - “ **No, Pat. It’s fine**.” Before Patton can say anything else, Virgil is dodging around him and heading back to his room. 

The next time Virgil is forced to leave his room, he’s looking for his hoodie. He’s been wearing his old black one all day, and it was fine for a while, but his anxiety’s only been getting worse and worse and he needs  _his_ hoodie. He’d spent hours sewing those patches on, even though he could have easily just conjured it. It meant a lot to him, and it was his safety blanket, and it was missing. He’d torn his room apart (and them cleaned it spotless - he was afraid he’d lose something else in the mess) and he hadn’t found it. He went to the commons, ignoring the others’ quizzical and worried looks as he checked under couch cushions, behind the couch, on shelves, on top of the fridge, on every chair, but he couldn’t find it. He can feel the anxiety attack building up, his movements becoming frantic and jerky, and Roman groans from the couch. 

“Ugh, Hot Topic we get it, you’re stressed. I’m  _trying_ to watch Gilmore Girls. Why are you so off today anyways? There’s nothing to be anxious about!” Virgil opens his mouth to answer, but he knows his voice will come out warped and he doesn’t want to hear it, he can’t hear it, so he runs off into the kitchen  _ ~~the mess the mESS~~_  and texts Patton. 

_**V: wheres my hoodie?** _

_**P: Just put it in the wash! Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of it kiddo. <3** _

Virgil feels a whine build in the back of his throat. He walks out of the kitchen just as Patton walks into the commons with a basket of clean laundry and sets it down as he sits, starting to fold and sort the clothes. He smiles kindly at Virgil, but Virgil just looks at the ground. Logan glances up from his book, observing Virgil just as Roman comments that “If you’re going to stand there like a statue, Doom and Gloom, you could at least get some popcorn first.” Virgil doesn’t respond, instead sinking out and reappearing in his room. He didn’t think he had the energy to walk all the way back. 

Patton gets up, about to head to Virgil’s room when Logan closes his book and stands as well, putting a hand up. “I don’t believe that’s the best idea.” Patton looks confused. “What do you mean, Lo? Virge needs our help!” 

“Sometimes, to know how to deal with anxieties, one must let them run rampant and observe, to learn their causes and come up with a plan to combat them in the future. We have just been suppressing his worries for too long; it would be better in the long run to see what the problem is and solve it directly.” 

Patton seems to think about it, still clearly worried. “Are you sure? I don’t like seeing him like this.” Logan nods. “I am sure this is the best course of action.”

* * *

 

The other two had agreed to leave Virgil be for the day, and if Virgil were to ask, Logan was locked in his room working on an important project. In reality, he was going to follow Virgil around the mindscape and see what he could find out when the other wasn’t on guard against others. 

Logan had hidden between the hutch and the wall dividing the kitchen from the living room, sitting in wait with a field journal and a pen for the next time Virgil came out of his room. Virgil appeared right in the kitchen, getting a glass of water, and Logan wrote in his journal. 

_Subject appears to favor sinking in and out of rooms rather than manual transportation. Further investigation may be advised. (Possibly too debilitated from the anxiety?)_

Virgil drinks his water, then just stands there for a moment. Logan peeks over the bar to get a better look, and Virgil seems to be staring at the sink while fidgeting. Logan had to admit that the pile of dishes was rather large; when had anyone bothered washing them? It was probably Virgil.

_Subject seems to feel increased anxiety concerning mess. Possibly due to lack of a sense of control, or the possibility of negative outcomes caused by the mess. Consider drafting a chore chart in the future to avoid circumstance._

Virgil was already washing the dishes by hand, having moved them out of the sink and filled it with soapy water. Logan crawls across the floor to kneel at the other side of the entrance to get a different view. 

_Tactile reassurance seems to be of importance; the subject cleans dishes manually despite a working dishwasher, and appears to have somewhat relaxed._

Virgil did look a little calmer, though that wasn’t saying much; really, he’d just started shaking less. When Virgil was done, Logan rushed to hide around the corner, and once Virgil passed he moved to hide behind the couch. Virgil stood in the middle of the living room, fidgeting with his hoodie and looking at Patton - well, his chest - for a moment before speaking up. It was apparent that Virgil didn’t want to speak, and Logan knew his voice distortion bothered him. “ **Are you... How are you, Patton? Are you okay?** ” The question seemed a little ridiculous, since Virgil was the one obviously struggling right now, but after a bit of thought Logan made a note. 

_Subject worries about the well-being of others; needs verbal reassurance. Consider a discussion about updating one another regularly through cellular messaging._

Patton grins, folding one of Roman’s more casual shirts. “I’m not okay,” Virgil tenses. “I’m Dad!” Virgil snrks, relaxing a little more. 

_Jokes seem to be well received._

_*data so far only applies to Patton’s atrocious puns._

Virgil tugs on the sleeves of his jacket and pulls it closer around himself. “ **O-okay... Where’s Logan?** ” Patton is quick to respond, much to Logan’s relief. “Oh! I forgot to tell you; he asked me to let you know that he’s working on an important project the rest of the day, so he’ll be locked in his room.” Virgil looks a little uncertain, fidgeting more and picking at the hem of his jacket. “Should I-” Patton shakes his head. “He said he wanted to be left alone.”

Subject appears to become more anxious when others’ status cannot be determined for himself. Perhaps second-hand validation is too uncertain. 

Virgil nods and heads down the hall toward Roman’s room. Logan has to be careful to stay near the entry, peeking around the corner as Virgil knocks on Roman’s door. Roman answers with a smile and a (too loud) greeting, and Logan can’t make out what Virgil says, but Roman lets him on and winks at Logan, shutting the door behind him. Logan straightens up and turns the corner, making his way over to the door and sitting against the wall. Roman had actually left it slightly open, so Logan could hear their conversation. 

An hour later Logan sat reviewing his notes as the two sides inside watched Black Cauldron. 

_The normal amount of explanation does not seem to be adequate during times of stress/anxiety. Consider during these times using more detailed yet simplified explanations._

_Subject needs repeated reassurance and validation._

_Subject has adjusted/fidgeted with/picked at his jacket a total of_  Logan looks over his notes  _37 times in the last hour._

He keeps looking them over, adjusting and refining his notes, and once the TV has been turned off, Logan quickly rises and heads back into the living room - nearly running into Patton in the process, who has just come back with another load of laundry. Patton grins at him as he hides behind the armchair, and a moment later Virgil walks in. Patton smiles brightly at the anxious side and hands over his hoodie, and Virgil hugs it close to his chest, thanking Patton quietly and sitting next to him. 

“ **....Can I help**?” Patton’s face lights up. “Sure!” The two start folding laundry, Virgil’s clean hoodie sitting in his lap. Logan can’t get a good view from here... He steels himself, then tucks and rolls to get behind the other section of the L-shaped couch. He smirks just slightly to himself.  _I’ve always wanted to do that._ Logan studies Virgil’s body language and actions, and makes a note. 

_Allowing the subject to aid in chores appears to induce calm. Reconsider tactile enforcement; jacket induces grounded feeling._

By the end of the day, once Thomas is home and getting ready for bed, Logan has several pages of notes and plans drafted to help theorized causes. He smiles a bit to himself and sets the journal on his desk, then gets dressed in his pajamas. He can see why Virgil does everything manually when he’s particularly anxious; it’s oddly reassuring to do something yourself, even if it’s as mundane as dressing yourself. 

He’ll go over his findings with Patton and Roman tomorrow, for now, everyone deserves some much-needed rest. 

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah not my best, but this is like, my third version?
> 
> Not even my third draft, I tried to rewrite this story three times because I was having such a hard time with it. 
> 
> Anyways yeah I tried to make the narrative sound more Logan-esque in tone, to set the mood. Idk how I did, I’m more of a Prinxiety fusion irl


End file.
